By Pierre Outtier, use code “doulasmilwaukee15” for 15% off

When my wife was pregnant with our second child, we decided to have a home birth. I was scared because I had no idea on how I could support my wife giving birth, so I read many books to better understand my role.

I realised how important birth partners could be during childbirth as they are the best suited to help her generate the one and only hormone that helps with delivery: oxytocin, the hormone of love. That is why I created My Birthing Pal: the only online videos 100% dedicated to birth partners.

My Birthing Pal is a series of 17 simple videos explaining how birth works structured as below:

What is birth?

It is important to understand birth before you start learning how to help. I will explain the different phases, and how to recognise them.

Why are we scared of birth?

In today’s society, we interpret birth as a scary moment where one’s life might be at risk. I will explain here why people are so afraid of it.

What is oxytocin and what is adrenaline?

Those two hormones play a very important role in birth. I will explain what they are and what to do about it.

I will then explain how to help the future mother generate as much oxytocin as possible with the 5 senses:

    • Touch: Just by putting your hand on her shoulder can help her feel more relaxed and confident. You can also help with massages to make her feel good like the heart or the waterfall massage. There are also massages that you can do during the 2nd and third phases of birth, when she she starts pushing, These massages will be a little stronger to help divert the pain away from her surges
    • Sight: It is important to put some images and colours that will make her feel good, for example some images with happy memories, or just enlighten the room with a colour that she likes.
    • Hearing: You can help her by putting on nice songs that she likes or that relaxes her. You can also make her listen to meditation apps. Also, you will need to make sure that you use positive words only.
    • Smell: there are many essential oils that you can use with an oil diffuser. Most essential oils will help her relax, some are also perfect for reducing pain, or help being more positive.
    • Taste: You can bring snacks that she likes or drinks that can help her by bringing more energy

– I will also explain to you how to help her with her breathing with the down-breathing technique during the first phase ( a technique that is perfect to allow her to relax and feel better, and the up-breathing technique that will help her with pushing the baby slowly and calmly).

Finally, I will show you how to deal with the medical staff.

Usually, to make sure that she doesn’t generate adrenaline, you will want to make sure that she stays in her bubble, which means that only the person who she trusts the most should interact with her (that is you). As a result of that, you will need to make the best decisions for her. To do that, you will need to use the BRAIN technique (also see our blog post here on BRAIN), which means that every time the medical staff wants to do something with her, you will wonder yourself or ask them:
* B: What are the Benefits?
* R: What are the Risks?
* A: Are there any alternatives?
* I: What does my instinct tell me?
* N: What if we did nothing?

By asking yourself all these questions, you will then be able to make the best decision for her.


*Disclaimer: Any content provided by is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for personalized medical advice by your doctor, midwife, or other healthcare professional. Click return to homepage.

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